When your “dream” job, isn’t….

Often, I think that I must have a screw loose or something is fundamentally wrong in my brain. In the past seven years, I have walked away from three different jobs paying great salaries. The first job was because of family reasons, the second because I hated the job, and the third job was because I just could not continue on no matter what the salary was for the position. I never thought I would leave a position because of a negative atmosphere or moral reasons. I thought money could fix it, but I was wrong. Money does not motivate me. I also let stress turn me inside out and I refuse to live stressed out any longer.

What makes a “dream” job? Is there really such a thing? I do not think so. I think you find things that you like about certain jobs. I have found that I enjoy working for people who appreciate me. An easy concept, you would think, but a complex one because money can lure you into negative situations. I also like working with limited supervision. I do not need people to ride herd on me. I am self-motivated and do not need a babysitter. I am also best under pressure and with deadlines. Most of my working life has been centered around deadlines and I seem to thrive in this environment.

Morally, I have to feel comfortable. This issue was not as prominent in my younger years, but it is now. I have to set an example for my children. I do not want my children to see their mother only existing in a career, I want them to see that I thrive in a career. Girls need to know that they can be successful career women. Salary is important, but it is not everything. Piece of mind is very important. I am striving to find that balance between career and piece of mind.

STRESS: Don’t let it win!

Yesterday, as I was getting ready for work, I decided to put on some foundation and blush. I very rarely do this ritual, but I had a work event to attend and wanted to look more professional. I am not sure why I thought this make up would help, but I put it on anyway. My youngest daughter was watching me and she said, “Mommy you should put some of that stuff under your eyes because you look really tired.”

She did not say this comment to make me feel bad. This child is quite the opposite, she is a keen observer and very rarely will comment on things outside of the family. She does not like to hurt other people’s feelings. But, the comment did give me pause. I do look tired. You could cart groceries around in the bags under my eyes. I haven’t been sleeping well no matter how many nights I take Motrin or Tylenol PM and go to bed at 9:00.

I have not exercised since I moved south. I have not been swimming since I moved south. I love the water and I miss it. And soon, in the next few weeks, I can get in the outdoor pools. My body needs exercise whether it is in the water or something else. My knees are stiff and sore for lack of exercise. Stress has gotten the better of me. I did not realize what it can do to you body, but I am finding out fast. I feel like an old woman. I have let stress take control. WELL, not anymore. I have joined a gym, I am going to try yoga (because a  mom I know has found much peace in this exercise), and I am going to beat the stress! I might even enter myself in a race or two late this summer. I can swim and bike, it is the running that I worry about. You never know!

Now, it stands to reason that I should probably eliminate the source of so much stress. Well, I am working on that issue too. However, one thing at a time and exercise will help me deal. The rest will come….