Last Friday, I wrote about stress not getting the better of me. Well, after a rough weekend, it is getting the better of me. Actually, I think it is stress combined with massive barometric pressure shifts which are causing migraines that I have not had in over a year. When do you make the BIG change in your life? I thought that I had made a big change this past summer, but it is proving not to be. How many times can you move your child from one place to another? Will they eventually crack or can they withstand change? These thoughts are also causing me stress. One child is happy but the other is not so much. Do you take them back to where the one child is comfortable or do you seek something new?
Living far away from family is proving more difficult that I ever imagined. At the very basic level, you do not have family to rely on. I cannot call someone to watch my children when they get sick because I cannot miss work. My children do not have the support system they once had in place. Grandma does not come out to see the oldest one march in a football game or parade because Grandma is geographically 800 miles away. Their uncle is not here to take them shopping or to the movies. I feel guilty for depriving my family of their grandchildren/nieces.
Making friends as an adult has proved difficult. Maybe some places are just more friendlier than other places. Maybe I have forgotten how to make friends. I should check my local bookstore “for books on the process of making friends”. If you watch a certain TV show, you will know where this quote is from :0
I keep coming back to whether or not we should go home. We are not as happy here as we thought we would be. OR are we just experiencing growing pains. I think some of the homesickness is because we are not in an area that has things we are used to. We are more isolated and the culture is different. We lived in a larger city before and now we live in a smaller one. It is nice that we do not have as much traffic, but you sacrifice other cultural things in exchange for less people and cars. Plus, our family and friends are not here.
Today, I am just rambling on… More random thoughts.