What Really Matters

What Really Matters.

Called Out By a Ten-Year Old

Last night, my youngest daughter decided to have a discussion with me. She had a laundry list of things that I was not doing right with my oldest daughter, her sister First and foremost was that I am not very nice to her (the oldest) and I am too hard on her (the oldest).

To give you all some background, my oldest daughter and I are very different people. She is my type B, nothing bothers me, happy girl. I am a type A, overachiever, workaholic, etc. I feel it is my job as a parent to push her when she needs it. Maybe I am guilty of being to pushy, and I probably am. I just want the best for her. She has been through so much including bullying and the mean girls in school. She has finally found her niche in band. I do not want her to lose momentum. She also is one of the nicest teens I know. She actually cares about other people. She is a good friend and listener. I could not have asked for a better child. We just push each other’s buttons.

However, getting the “talk” from a ten-year old was an eye opener. My youngest and I are good buddies. She is a lot like me which does not bode well for her. Haha!! I did take it to heart. I need to let my oldest daughter breathe and be her own person. It will take time and baby steps, but I am working on it. The fact that she is a teenager is not helping either, but I have to trust that she has listened to us and will do the right thing. This parenting thing would be a lot easier if I had a personalized manual for each kid!!

 

No Fun with Fractions

Last night while trying to help my fourth grader work on her homework, I was yet again reminded why I do not like math. To be fair, it is not all math that I do not like, but fractions really, really make me want to pull my hair out. Compound fractions to be exact. When it takes two adults to help one child do one page of homework, that is hard work!

I was taken back to 1982, sitting in Mrs. Koehler’s class, trying to do the same work. I loved Mrs. Koehler. She was very pretty and kind. She taught us all about clouds and the atmosphere. Yep, that is what I remember about fourth grade and the nasty fractions. It was also the year my parents decided to separate which eventually led to divorce. So, now that I think about it, maybe it was not all about fractions, but about my parents making a mess of things. At least from a fourth grader’s point of view.

As an adult, I know that it takes a lot of things to screw up a marriage and my parents had their problems. In later years, my mom found a much better husband in my stepfather and my dad ended up with two high maintenance women. Well… he picked them, not me and pay back is a you-know-what. It is interesting what leaves a profound mark on a young mind. Maybe it was not the fractions but the divorce. Maybe I really love math. Right, maybe I will win the Nobel prize and Jeopardy! Nope, still do not like fractions!!

Kids and growing up

This morning my youngest daughter climbed onto my back while I was still in bed. She used to do this all the time when she was little. I called her the “Koala Baby” because she often would climb on my back in the middle of the night. I would wake up with her sound asleep on my back. I would stay put and just listen to her breathing. She was so calm and peaceful. Now, she is ten and weighs a lot more than she did back then. She still sleeps with the same calm and peacefulness. It seems as though she still needs the closeness and to be near me. I cannot say I mind all that much although sometimes it is hard to breathe and she is getting so tall. Her feet touch mine now. I will miss the day she does not do it anymore.

I try to not be melancholy about my girls growing up. They are becoming nice young ladies, but I will miss them when they are grown. Hopefully, I will have grandchildren and they will want to be “Koala babies”.