I have written many posts about career changes and how to know when to change. Nothing makes you doubt yourself more than being rejected by not one, but three different doctorate programs including my second alma mater. I consider myself a fairly intelligent person, but rejection is hard, no matter what kind of rejection. It does make me rethink the path I thought I wanted to be on.
I think I am meant for other things. Yes, I was rejected, but I was probably not going to go anyway. I could not get excited about the programs that I was applying to for admission. I applied because I thought I should and it was as good as anything else. In fact, I was dreading the whole idea of studying something for four or more years that I was not passionate about. I think my ego took the hit more than anything.
I am also at a crossroads in my professional career. I can’t seem to get hired as a librarian. I wonder if they see something that I don’t in my attitude or behavior. I just know that whenever I go on those interviews, I end up feeling like the dumbest person in the room. It is my own personal issue, but it is there. I am tired of feeling this way.
So what now? Am I as dumb as I think I am? Or is a higher power trying to tell me something. Like, listen up, you are supposed to do something else with your life. So, how do find out what my new path will be? I guess I will have to wait and see.