Midlife crisis, but I am not middle-aged, or a man, or going bald!!!
Last April, I quit the highest paying job that I have ever held. I have quit high paying jobs before, but none that had such an extreme effect on my life. It seems to be a flaw in my genetic make up to keep jobs that pay me well. It was also the job that I picked up and moved myself and my family 800 miles from our home to a place completely different from anything we know.
The euphoria and feeling of freedom from leaving that job lasted for a few months, but reality has come crashing in. I have gone on lots of interviews and follow-up interviews, but nothing panned out. I have applied for everything, and by everything, I mean jobs that didn’t pay for the gas it would take to get there. I considered removing my degrees from my resume and dumbing it down, so potential employers would take a look and not throw my resume in the trash. However, common sense and a bit of arrogance (after all, I had earned those degrees) kept me from removing them.
My self-esteem has taken quite the hit. I usually feel pretty good about myself, but as of late, I am not so sure… about anything. I never realized that I identified myself by my job. Now, I have to get to know myself without benefit of full-time employment and a career. So, I decided to list all the things I am aside from a “worker”. Here is what I came up with:
- Laundry lady
- Grocery shopper
- Pet parent
- Book reader
- Bathroom cleaner
Not much of a list. I was hoping that I could find some potential jobs in that list. When a job did not materialize, one of the options that I came up with is to go back to school. Find something meaningful to focus on. But then, I worry about being too old to start over yet again. One bright spot is that many of my friends have been really supportive. They have encouraged me to change careers. However, I still have doubt. I have not sat in on a class in 12 years. Can I still do it? Can I reinvent myself yet again?