Today I Turn 42
Today I turn 42. Not such a bad number. I kind of like it. It is an even number and divisible by 2 resulting in 21. Now, 21 is an interesting age. Most of us could not wait until we arrived at age 21. It was the magic number after you turned 16 and 18. It was the year you could finally drink legally. As if you had not been drinking all the years prior to that one, but you could now officially go to a bar and say, “Barkeep, I would like a margarita”. Or some other nonsense. Most of us probably ordered something with schnapps in the name, fizzy, or for the brave one, a shot.
However, at 42, my taste is more refined. I no longer go to bars and I cannot remember the last time that I ordered a drink, at least one that was mixed by a bartender. I know there are friends of mine out there doing the huge eye roll, but nevertheless, it is true. I have settled into adulthood. My forties have come and I look back on 21 and thank God that I am no longer there. For one, I would be getting married for the first time, and no offense to the first husband, but that was a colossal mistake. Two, I was terribly naive. I had no idea how the world worked and I was in a rebellious state. I have learned a lot in the 21 years that have passed and while it has not all been good, it has been educational.
With age, comes clarity, at least a little I hope. I am definitely more wise and not nearly as naive. I realize that I have great friends who are there for me no matter how far away. My family puts up with me no matter how crazy I get and I have a great family. Putting yourself out there does not always end in catastrophe, sometimes embarrassment, but the world is not going to end. You will make mistakes. Own up to them and go on, have some integrity about it.
And this thought, my big one for today, you have to figure out who you are and where you want to be. I have been stressed out for a while now and not handling it well. I constructed a pro/con list and analyzed a few things. While this method will not always work, sometimes it helps if you put it down on paper. I often use mind mapping software to organize my thoughts. I have come up with a plan. So Happy Birthday to me! May some happiness reign!